This is my first blog post on my new website! I’m grateful that this inaugural post can be on the subject of renewal.

The past few weeks have been challenging. I’ve been beset by the busy-ness of business: launching a website, creating inventory, sending out marketing material, compiling mailing lists for more marketing material, logging expenses, negotiating on-line bank accounts…the list goes on and on. For someone who has spent 32 years in the classroom, this is a steep learning curve. Technology and I have always been little more than nodding acquaintances, and now, it seems, we must become daily  partners. Many is the time this month when I have pushed away from the computer in frustration and self-doubt. Not only have I doubted my ability to “run” a business, but I also felt I had allowed my true intention to become obscured. The name of my company is My Mother’s Grace. How do I remain in and aware of grace when I am ticking items off an endless to-do list and numbers swarm in front of my eyes like gnats? I slumped at the computer, my eyes were crossed, my vision lost.

Fortunately, perhaps ironically, the remedy came from a business connection.

Through a Catholic business organization, of which I am a member, I learned of a Catholic women’s conference in my city. The conference emphasizes “Treasuring Womanhood” —  through a Marian perspective. Surely I would find something there to clear my sight and restore my vision.

Today’s conference included music, speakers, the Rosary, mass, adoration of the Eucharist – and, of course, lunch. There is something uplifting and sweet about hearing a chorus of women’s voices in praise and petition. There were women from all throughout the diocese in all age ranges, races, professions, and vocations. I saw women I knew and met women I would like to know better. During all parts of the day I had access to texts and music that glorified the Blessed Mother.

It was during the Rosary that I first began to feel truly peaceful and centered. In that setting I wasn’t ticking items off a to-do list. I was ticking off the beads of my French rosary, red wooden beads, carved in the shape of roses, a gift from my godmother.  The familiar prayers have been my anchor during my husband’s trips to the oncologist, my mother’s dying hours, and all those times, like today, when I needed to slow down the frenetic pace of the world and enter a place of peace. In fact, I consider the Rosary to be an actual place where I meet Our Lady and share sacred space with members of my family who now rest in the arms of God. But that’s a topic for another day.

Calmed and focused I entered into mass. As we began the Eucharist there was the expected movement. Over a hundred women poured  into the center aisle, ushered by members of the Knights of Columbus in full regalia, easily visible in the crowd by the white plumes on the tops of their hats. But as we continued our slow circular procession toward the feast, I thought I felt a different kind of movement in the crowd, an energy moving counter to the direction of the altar, as though it originated from the altar. In my mind’s eye I had an immediate vision of Christ moving among His sisters, rejoicing in their celebration, and stopping to whisper blessings in the ears of the faithful. A smile spread across my face as I imagined the grace of that blessing, so happy for those who would hear His voice. What might He say, I wondered. Words of encouragement; a promise of healing; confirmation of a secret yearning? What might Christ be saying to those lucky women for whom I was so glad?

Then I heard, softly, in my right ear, “I love you.”

Wishing you a space for grace in your life today,

Kate