Today was Volunteer Appreciation Day at the Catholic retirement home where I spend a couple of hours a week visiting with the residents. I’m a pretty new volunteer, and what with illness and family emergency, I’ve missed several shifts in the short time that I’ve been on board. In fact, “new” barely describes me — I’m more a neophyte.

After a mass for the intentions of the volunteers and their families, the Sisters who run the home provided an excellent lunch in the home’s bright and cheerily decorated social hall. The meal was followed by distribution of door prizes, an event emceed by a wonderful woman I shall affectionately refer to as Sister Mary Stand Up because of her spontaneous humor and good natured jabs at staff and volunteers, her own singing voice, and her celibacy. “It’s a good thing I’m not married!” she’d chirp, every time a female volunteer chose a door prize appropriate for her husband. “I’d pick a gift for myself!”

Even though every one I encountered, from the Sisters, to the staff, to the other volunteers welcomed  me with cheerful kindness, I felt out of place. Some of the volunteers have been doing God’s work at this facility for decades. I felt that being so new and having done so little, I didn’t deserve the lunch or the recognition.

And then I won a door prize. My sense of guilt pricked me as I heard Sister Mary Stand Up call out the number that matched my little red ticket.  I picked out a nice piece of electronics and said I would give to my husband for his birthday (which I did). There, I thought, if I give it to someone else it’s not like I took it for myself when it wasn’t deserved. Sister Mary Stand Up observed, “and ya got it for nuthin’!” She meant it was a free birthday gift, but I heard another layer of meaning.

But there was more. As the event drew to a close, Sister Mary Stand Up announced that there was a gift bag for each volunteer. And they were big gift bags full of a variety of practical gifts and little luxuries, all brand new and donated just for this purpose. Well, that’s it, I thought. There’s no way I’m taking a gift bag. I haven’t done enough to deserve it, and the Sisters can put the items to better use if I leave them here.

As people exited the social hall I tried to slip away to the door, but the stream of traffic pushed me along to the end of the room where the Sisters were distributing the gift bags. The other volunteers urged me, “Go on, get your bag!” I looked at the pretty bags, assembled with loving care for the recipients. I looked at the joy on the faces of the Sisters as they distributed the bags. They were beaming.

So I took a gift bag. Not because I felt I deserved it, but because it gave the Sisters such joy to give it to me. And it’s an incentive for me to be more mindful, diligent, and faithful in my volunteering in the future.

I figure grace is like that. I don’t deserve it. For all my years on Earth, I’m still new at this walk in the Light, and I may never be as good at it as I want to be. But I believe it gives God such joy to bestow love and blessings upon me, that, worthy or not, I accept with a grateful heart and try to be more mindful, diligent, and faithful in my walk.

Wishing you a space for grace in your life today,
Kate