Today is the Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Mother, the day that celebrates Mary’s visit to her cousin Elizabeth to share the miraculous news of the immaculate conception.

The story is told in the Gospel of Luke 1:39-56, and I love the passage for a variety of reasons. It contains what is called the Canticle of Mary: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my saviour…” And in Elizabeth’s response we see the salutation of the rosary: “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” For those of us who center our faith in Marian prayer and devotion, these verses give birth to the heart of our practice.

But there is another reason this story is so dear to me: Mary reveals the staggering news and makes her profession of faith not defensively to her intended husband, not proudly to the priests, not pedantically  in the marketplace, not even spinning on a mountain top like Julie Andrews. She speaks in confidence to her female cousin. In fact, her cousin realizes that something magnificent has happened before Mary even breaks the news: “For the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy.”

Now, I realize that in that time and place women had fewer rights and liberties and that most of their conversation took place within their own circles. But even so, it is not her mother, nor an aunt, nor a sister, nor a close friend in whom Mary confides. It’s her cousin.And while we can argue that this passage establishes the familial relationship between Jesus and John the Baptist, it is Mary’s cousin who truly recognizes the destiny of her kinswoman. The angel brings the news of Mary’s favored status. Cousin Elizabeth is the first human being to profess Mary’s divine purpose: “Blessed are you who believed that what  was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.”

I have lots of cousins. On my father’s side alone I am one of 32 grandchildren. Now that my cousins have children and grandchildren, I have literally dozens of cousins. We’re beyond family — we’re a clan. Through their marriages and their children’s marriages my cousins have combined our DNA with that of other races, nationalities, and cultures. It’s a thrill for me to feel related to a larger world. My cousins have ennriched and expanded my life beyond measure. Cousins provide a sense of familial connection and the grounding of identity without the inescapable intimacy that sometimes (not often, but sometimes) sours siblings.

I don’t have to explain who I am to my cousins. They share my history and help me make sense of it. In them and in their lives, I can see myself once removed, and learn more about my own journey and the choices I make. I marvel at how similar we are despite distances of age and geography. Whether it’s online, via social network, or face to face, I treasure “cousin talk.” I might be puzzling out genealogy with energetic Brian, identifying old photographs with faithful David, sharing parenting and gardening stories with sweet Sue, laughing at family eccentricities with spunky Kay, or celebrating the greatness of God with beautiful Colleen…and I could go on and on. I don’t have to prove myself to my cousins. I am immediately “in” simply by virtue of genetics.

So I’m not at all surprised that Mary chose to reveal her destiny to her cousin and that her cousin received her in faith and celebration. I will never have news of that profound significance to share (who would?!) but I know that whatever I do reveal to my cousins about my life and my faith, I will be supported and celebrated, just as I would do the same for them.

Mary is at the heart of the Holy Family, but she was also anchored in her biological family, and I love Her all the more for that.

Wishing you a space for grace in your life today,

Kate